“Roxy, darling, are you starting a gallery of unclean mugs or are you just trying to find out how long it’ll take for the tea to stick to the mugs?”

“Mum… It’s just too tiring for me to go up and down the stairs every time I finish a cup of tea. I’ll take the whole bunch down at night.”

“You said that yesterday…”

“I did take yesterday’s down! And I washed them too! Those are today’s! …Mum, stop looking at me like that. It’s bloody freezing and I’m English! What’s wrong with that?!”

“The amount of insanity in this family…”